PECAN PIE
(ONLY SISSIES SKIP PECAN PIE)

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Pecan pie is not a health food. I'm sorry, but it's not. I have stacks and piles of low-fat, low-sugar, low-taste cookbooks and not one of them offers a slimmed-down recipe for pecan pie. It can't be done; it shouldn't be done! (Basically, - 1 slice of pecan pie will average about 500 to 600 calories!)

Pecan pie should slowly sludge through your veins like rich, dark, tacky molasses. It should cause your heart to pound like an old, two-stroke "poppin' John" tractor plowing through thick clay.

Eating pecan pie is an ethereal exercise. You should lie down right after you consume it and wait for the sugar surge to lift you from the sheets.

Those who forego pecan pie for pumpkin pie are sissies. It is a purse, simple fact.

Pecan pie and pralines are, for me, the only reason to bump into a pecan tree, then back off and bump it again. I don't want pecans on my salad, I hate them mixed up with little pieces of oranges and shredded coconut.

Ambrosia, my foot!!!!

I like them in a creamy PRALINE or a rich, sticky PECAN PIE!